Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
