I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The uberlube is also flammable
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
