I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
