cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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