TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
