I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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