how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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