remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
