Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.