I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
why is half of my head shaved?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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