So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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