Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
