Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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  (424): you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain http://tfl.nu/zpba
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (1634)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.

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  (604): the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick. http://tfl.nu/jjwi
  Replies (27) Good night (6441) Bad night (626)
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  (858): View more from California

  she takes plan B like it's going out of style

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  (858): she takes plan B like it's going out of style http://tfl.nu/mrnj
  Replies (27) Good night (860) Bad night (3490)
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  (408): View more from California

  i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.

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  (408): i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now. http://tfl.nu/4x4e
  Replies (16) Good night (878) Bad night (5737)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..

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  (330): did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding.. http://tfl.nu/ng2x
  Replies (35) Good night (1181) Bad night (5789)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!

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  (304): STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us! http://tfl.nu/rgw4
  Replies (31) Good night (8049) Bad night (814)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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  (480): he seriously made his penis a facebook. http://tfl.nu/bto1
  Replies (15) Good night (4313) Bad night (1780)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.

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  (404): Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here. http://tfl.nu/lskr
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (780)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say

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  (954): You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say http://tfl.nu/ixst
  Replies (6) Good night (2099) Bad night (446)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere

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  (248): I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere http://tfl.nu/d1lq
  Replies (7) Good night (510) Bad night (1167)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

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  (586): There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life. http://tfl.nu/feu1
  Replies (6) Good night (302) Bad night (724)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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  (678): I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost. http://tfl.nu/2pxc
  Replies (9) Good night (570) Bad night (266)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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  (773): It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11. http://tfl.nu/euda
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (287)
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  (818): View more from California

  Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood

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  (818): Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood http://tfl.nu/uhdt
  Replies (1) Good night (236) Bad night (425)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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  (720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (163)

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