Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

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  (562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever. http://tfl.nu/2p77
  Replies (292) Good night (29849) Bad night (13500)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1586) Bad night (8096)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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  (631): i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties. http://tfl.nu/jppt
  Replies (18) Good night (4125) Bad night (1118)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You said that last year...

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  (260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate. (219): You said that last year... http://tfl.nu/7qlf
  Replies (18) Good night (2055) Bad night (5508)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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  (401): I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard. http://tfl.nu/cjsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2783) Bad night (837)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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  (505): He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way. http://tfl.nu/qq0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1235) Bad night (4691)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

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  (480): Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed. http://tfl.nu/mw5c
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (1802)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stole a bike. Here's a pic

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  (513): I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight. (513): I stole a bike. Here's a pic http://tfl.nu/v50c
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (966)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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  (315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4
  Replies (20) Good night (5665) Bad night (1363)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

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  (803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (1662)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.

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  (972): I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/zrt1
  Replies (5) Good night (623) Bad night (680)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!

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  (360): DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!! http://tfl.nu/2uub
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (1060)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

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  (516): Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji? http://tfl.nu/gce4
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (631)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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  (224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (290)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.

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  (586): I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you. http://tfl.nu/2wjo
  Replies (7) Good night (892) Bad night (283)

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