I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.