Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

(1-801): View more from Utah

wait.... you do what?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl

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(979): View more from Texas

I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

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(818): View more from California

So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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(209): View more from California

Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just want nice things and good sex

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(204): View more from Manitoba

This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.

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