I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.