I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're a waste of cheezeits
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.