Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(