i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
