Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
