I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
