It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
