i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
