i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My pussy is not your playground.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize