you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize