quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
