The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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