How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
