for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
