Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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