i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize