After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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