Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
