i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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