I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
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I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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