i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
