My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
