Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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