somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
