would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
