And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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