He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
