I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
