When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
