So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
