I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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