We need to start having sex underwater more often.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
