i just wanna soil my oats bro
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
