I need help removing her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize