I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize