Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We don't watch enough power rangers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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