Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
