if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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