Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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