I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
