im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
