Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize