Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
