If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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