I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
