needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
