I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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