In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were trust falling into bushes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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