If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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