At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm really busy with my period
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