Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
