Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
