We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
