i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house