So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle