The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning