with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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