Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
