whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.