Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

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(513): Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school? http://tfl.nu/0udh

Replies (357) Good night (905) Bad night (8066)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/y207

Replies (21) Good night (1015) Bad night (5993)
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(773): View more from Illinois

somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students

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(773): somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students http://tfl.nu/zxwh

Replies (8) Good night (4392) Bad night (999)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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(630): Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box. http://tfl.nu/2fsf

Replies (23) Good night (6913) Bad night (1000)
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(347): View more from New York

How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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(347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja

Replies (6) Good night (5154) Bad night (901)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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(859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa

Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (2083)
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(845): View more from New York

Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.

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(845): Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was. http://tfl.nu/ww86

Replies (12) Good night (3566) Bad night (1261)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.

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(803): A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco. http://tfl.nu/eqmh

Replies (11) Good night (4666) Bad night (1725)
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(727): View more from Florida

There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.

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(727): There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though. http://tfl.nu/m08y

Replies (8) Good night (1073) Bad night (2416)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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(480): I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE http://tfl.nu/wmq4

Replies (5) Good night (2424) Bad night (1281)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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(610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14

Replies (18) Good night (3981) Bad night (1154)
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(716): View more from New York

i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.

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(716): i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs. http://tfl.nu/9d6u

Replies (10) Good night (1533) Bad night (725)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

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(587): Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature? http://tfl.nu/gy0w

Replies (7) Good night (1376) Bad night (474)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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(218): I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans http://tfl.nu/y0vw

Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (319)
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(248): View more from Michigan

It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.

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(248): It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk. http://tfl.nu/m630

Replies (7) Good night (1410) Bad night (384)

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