Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.