i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...