love makes seman taste better
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We need to get me chipped asap
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
