Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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  (314): Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal. http://tfl.nu/asgk
  Replies (34) Good night (1403) Bad night (2256)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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  (217): My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/w1fj
  Replies (26) Good night (5092) Bad night (1075)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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  (918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical. http://tfl.nu/pf93
  Replies (49) Good night (6383) Bad night (1784)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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  (203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j
  Replies (11) Good night (5804) Bad night (1065)
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  (619): View more from California

  i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

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  (619): i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die http://tfl.nu/4ks9
  Replies (18) Good night (1323) Bad night (5057)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.

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  (970): I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision. http://tfl.nu/ny2a
  Replies (11) Good night (2973) Bad night (1402)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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  (315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n
  Replies (30) Good night (3558) Bad night (1770)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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  (+44): Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing. http://tfl.nu/5vch
  Replies (3) Good night (1957) Bad night (728)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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  (315): Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time? (540): Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude http://tfl.nu/szgw
  Replies (9) Good night (1171) Bad night (2395)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It happened again.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.

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  (651): It happened again. (612): What? (651): I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now. http://tfl.nu/fx7i
  Replies (8) Good night (1935) Bad night (589)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here

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  (971): she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here http://tfl.nu/l846
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (371)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.

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  (309): I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne. http://tfl.nu/l6oj
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (365)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.

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  (304): just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America. http://tfl.nu/tnm4
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (331)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?

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  (224): How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister? http://tfl.nu/hq7k
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (635)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?

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  (618): Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!? http://tfl.nu/wury
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (139)

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